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mmm4444bot

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Oct 6, 2005
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My mother taught me about LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me about OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth, and eat your supper."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me about GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Just look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents, like you do."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My mother taught me about HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

My mother taught me about RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

 
My mother taught me about being INQUISITIVE: "None of your business!".
 
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