Word Play 11

soroban

Elite Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2005
Messages
5,586


. . . . . . . . \(\displaystyle \begin{array}{c}\text{Count the Superfluous Redundant} \\ \text{Pleonastic Tautologies } \\ \\[-3mm] \text{~ George Carlin ~} \\ \\ \\\end{array}\)


. . \(\displaystyle \begin{array}{c}\text{My fellow countrymen, I speak to you as coequals,} \\ \text{knowing you are deserving of the honest truth.} \\ \text{And let me warn you in advance,} \\ \text{my subject matter concerns a serious crisis} \\ \text{caused by an event in my past history:} \\ \text{the execution-style killing of a security guard} \\ \text{on a delivery truck.} \end{array}\)

. . . .\(\displaystyle \begin{array}{c}\text{At the particular point in time,} \\ \text{I found myself in a deep depression,} \\ \text{making mental errors which seemed} \\ \text{as though they might threaten my future plans.} \\ \text{I am not over-exaggerating.} \\ \\ \end{array}\)

. . . . \(\displaystyle \begin{array}{c}\text{I needed a new beginning,} \\ \text{so I paid a social visit to a personal friend} \\ \text{with whom I share the same mutual objectives} \\ \text{and who is one of the most unique individuals} \\ \text{I have ever personally met.} \end{array}\)

. . \(\displaystyle \begin{array}{c}\text{The end result was an unexpected surprise.} \\ \text{When I reiterated again to her} \\ \text{the fact that I needed a fresh start,} \\ \text{she said I was exactly right; and, as an added plus,} \\ \text{she came up with a final solution} \\ \text{that was absolutely perfect.} \end{array}\)

. . . . . . \(\displaystyle \begin{array}{c}\text{Based on her past experience,} \\ \text{she felt we needed to join together} \\ \text{in a common bond for a combined total} \\ \text{of twenty-hours a day,} \\ \text{in order to find some new initiatives.} \\ \text{What a novel innovation!} \\ \text{And, as an extra bonus, she presented me} \\ \text{with the free gift of a tuna fish. } \end{array}\)

\(\displaystyle \begin{array}{c}\text{Right away I noticed an immediate positive improvement.} \\ \text{And although my recovery is not totally complete,} \\ \text{the sum total is I feel much better now} \\ \text{knowing I am not uniquely alone.} \end{array}\)

 
You: Hey Denis, if I were you, I'd do it this way...
Me: if you were me, you'd do it my way, else you wouldn't be me !
 

You: Why are you scratching yourself?

Me: Because I'm the only one who knows where I itch.

 
Denis said:
I'm a man of few words, but I use them often!

Dr. Seuss used only 50 different words in "Green Eggs and Ham,"
but he used them often within that story.
 

My wife and I had words last night.
But I didn't get a chance to use mine.

 
I haven't spoken to my wife in a month. I don't like to interrupt.
 
Denis

Instead of aiming at your ex and missing, perhaps you should aim at your wife, who is nearer and more audible.

Just a friendly suggestion.
 
Righto Jeff!
So I don't get in "trouble" with these:
the "miss my ex" one I saw on a bumper sticker
I'm a widower; was married 34 years...
 
I shall endeavour in the future to joke only about my own family: there is ample material.
 
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