Public Service for Students of Finance

[mmm4444bot]

Textbook publishers cannot keep pace with rapidly-changing definitions within the financial world. Therefore, as a public service, I post the latest changes to terminology.



CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer

CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer

BULL MARKET: Random market movement causing investors to mistake themselves for financial geniuses

BEAR MARKET: 6-to-18-month period where kids get no allowance and wife gets no jewelry

VALUE INVESTING: Art of buying low and selling lower

P/E RATIO: Percentage of investors wetting their pants as markets crash

BROKER: What your broker makes you

STANDARD & POOR: Middle-income life, in a nutshell

FINANCIAL PLANNER: Anyone whose phone has been disconnected

MARKET CORRECTION: Any day after you buy stock

CASH FLOW: Trajectory money travels as it disappears after flushing the toilet

WINDOWS OF OPPORTUNITY: What one jumps through when they are a sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share (for example)

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR: Past-week investor who now resides in the local nuthouse

PROFIT: Archaic word (no longer in use)

 

[Denis]

BOTTOM LINE : you sit on it !