Some cricketing quips over the ages
# Geoffrey [Boycott] is the only fellow I've ever met who fell in love with himself at a young age and has remained faithful ever since" - Dennis Lillee
#"The other advantage England have got when Phil Tufnell is bowling is that he isn't fielding" - Ian Chappel
#"Being the manager of a touring team is rather like being in charge of a cemetery - lots of people underneath you, but no one listening" - Wes Hall
#"Shane Warne's idea of a balanced diet is a cheeseburger in each hand" - Ian Healy
#"I absolutely insist that all my boys are in bed before breakfast" - Colin Ingleby-Mackenzie explaining how Hampshire won the County Championship under his captaincy
#"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey" - Brian Johnston as Peter Willey faces up to Michael Holding
#"Neil Harvey's at slip, with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle" - Brian Johnston
#"England have nothing to lose here, apart from this Test match" - David Lloyd
#"No good hitting me there, mate, there's nothing to damage" - *Derek Randall* to Dennis Lillee after being hit on the head by a bouncer
#"I just want to get into the middle and get the right sort of runs" - Robin Smith, suffering from Diarrhoea on an England tour of India
#"Kid yourself it's Sunday, Rev, and keep your hands together" - Fred Trueman after Revd David Sheppard dropped a succession of catches
#"Richie Benaud eyes the camera with the look of a disdainful lizard" - Brian Viner
#"I'm a big believer that the coach is something you travel in to get to and from the game" - Shane Warne with another dig at John Buchanan
#"****, [Mike Gatting] Gatt, move out the way, I can't see the wickets" - Dennis Lillee after stopping in mid run-up to bowl to Mike Gatting
#"Well, Andrew Strauss is certainly an optimist—he's come out wearing sunblock" - Australian commentator* in the fifth test of the 5-0 series whitewash in 2006-07
#"Gatting at fine leg - that's a contradiction in terms" - Richie Benaud
#"It couldn't have been Gatt. Anything he takes up to his room after nine o'clock, he eats" - Ian Botham on the Mike Gatting barmaid scandal
#"I can't really say I'm batting badly. I'm not batting long enough to be batting badly" - Greg Chappell
#"It's a catch he would have caught 99 times times out of 1,000" - Henry Blofeld
#"The hallmark of a great captain is the ability to win the toss at the right time" - Richie Benaud
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# Geoffrey [Boycott] is the only fellow I've ever met who fell in love with himself at a young age and has remained faithful ever since" - Dennis Lillee
#"The other advantage England have got when Phil Tufnell is bowling is that he isn't fielding" - Ian Chappel
#"Being the manager of a touring team is rather like being in charge of a cemetery - lots of people underneath you, but no one listening" - Wes Hall
#"Shane Warne's idea of a balanced diet is a cheeseburger in each hand" - Ian Healy
#"I absolutely insist that all my boys are in bed before breakfast" - Colin Ingleby-Mackenzie explaining how Hampshire won the County Championship under his captaincy
#"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey" - Brian Johnston as Peter Willey faces up to Michael Holding
#"Neil Harvey's at slip, with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle" - Brian Johnston
#"England have nothing to lose here, apart from this Test match" - David Lloyd
#"No good hitting me there, mate, there's nothing to damage" - *Derek Randall* to Dennis Lillee after being hit on the head by a bouncer
#"I just want to get into the middle and get the right sort of runs" - Robin Smith, suffering from Diarrhoea on an England tour of India
#"Kid yourself it's Sunday, Rev, and keep your hands together" - Fred Trueman after Revd David Sheppard dropped a succession of catches
#"Richie Benaud eyes the camera with the look of a disdainful lizard" - Brian Viner
#"I'm a big believer that the coach is something you travel in to get to and from the game" - Shane Warne with another dig at John Buchanan
#"****, [Mike Gatting] Gatt, move out the way, I can't see the wickets" - Dennis Lillee after stopping in mid run-up to bowl to Mike Gatting
#"Well, Andrew Strauss is certainly an optimist—he's come out wearing sunblock" - Australian commentator* in the fifth test of the 5-0 series whitewash in 2006-07
#"Gatting at fine leg - that's a contradiction in terms" - Richie Benaud
#"It couldn't have been Gatt. Anything he takes up to his room after nine o'clock, he eats" - Ian Botham on the Mike Gatting barmaid scandal
#"I can't really say I'm batting badly. I'm not batting long enough to be batting badly" - Greg Chappell
#"It's a catch he would have caught 99 times times out of 1,000" - Henry Blofeld
#"The hallmark of a great captain is the ability to win the toss at the right time" - Richie Benaud
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